If I had a blog, today I would write about the new journey I have embarked upon.
Lately, the Powers-That-Be have been sending me lots of signs regarding my need for faith. I know I’ve touched on this before, because faith in a higher power has always eluded me, but these days, I am taking a new tack on this ancient conundrum based on the events of a day-trip I took with my mom.
When Mom and I travel, more often than not, we listen to Southern Gospel music. That may sound like an odd choice for a neo-Pagan, but oddly enough, hymns have always been a meaningful part of my life. Mom, you see, is a wonderful singer and when I was a child, she lulled me to sleep with the verses of “Abide With Me,” “The Ninety and Nine,” and a thousand other songs she learned growing up in the Baptist church. I still love the messages of peace and rest that are carried in those melodies and it makes me yearn for a life of surety, founded on complete trust in a Divine Power greater than myself. If only I could bring myself to believe such a thing…
This was the topic of discussion as Mom and I drove along last Tuesday and along the way, we concluded that faith is something you develop through practice. That means you have to start at the bottom, with only a sense of the end goal in mind, and practice until you grow into the habit of faith.
We were quite pleased with our perspective and were singing along with the Gaither Vocal Band when as semi passed us. On the back of the truck was a sticker that simply said, “FAITH.” Beneath it was the scripture reference: Philippians 4:4-9. I looked up the passage when I got home and it says:
4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. 5 Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; 6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.9 What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.
To be honest, I have never looked up a Scripture pasted on the back of a truck before, but this one was clearly speaking to the new direction Mom and I were contemplating, but there was more to come.
Later that evening, I was perusing Facebook and the site for my favorite TV show, The West Wing, posted a meme where the Chief-of-Staff tells the President, “Act as if ye have faith and faith shall be given unto you. In other words, fake it ’til you make it.” It may not be a Bible verse, but God was speaking just the same.
So here I am: A middle-aged Pagan living her life as if she trusts The Divine to take care of everything. It is a strange feeling, quite foreign to a cynic like myself, but I am willing to take this road into the unknown and see where it leads. I will heed the signs and let my Higher Power show me the way.