Nothin’ Could Be Finer

If I had a blog, today I would write about one of my favorite birds: The Carolina Wren.

web 10062014_247I love wrens. They are bold, brassy, and outspoken; flitting from pillar to post with their tail upright as if in protest. I’m not sure what Carolina’s have to protest, but believe me, rebellion is in their blood.

Carolina Wren’s average about 5″ in length and weigh about 3/4 of an ounce. They are the second largest wren in the United States after the cactus wren of the desert southwest. Carolina Wrens can live to be 6 years of age and often keep one mate for their entire breeding lifespan. When a pair of wrens bond, they not only stay together through the nesting season, they remain a pair and interact throughout the year.

Although both sexes of Carolina Wren can sing, it is primarily the males we hear making their strident calls from fence row and thicket. One captive male was recorded singing 3,000 times in one day! This is news to me, as I assumed female wrens were the ones making a racket during breeding and nesting season: Sort of an, “I am woman, hear me roar,” attitude. Nevertheless, female wrens do defend their nests with great vigor and anyone approaching her brood should do so with caution.

web 04292014_085623

Baby Carolina

During the breeding season, male Carolina Wrens several nests, although only one will be used for brooding. Not only do the “dummy” nests confuse predators, but scientists believe female wrens choose the most appealing nest to use for raising young.

The hallmark of the Carolina Wren is the bold, white eye stripe that gives them a somewhat cross demeanor. If wrens come back as humans, I think many would return as stereotypical boarding school teachers. Their stern visage speaks of rapped knuckles and detention after school. There would be no talking, note-passing, or other fol de rol in the classroom of Mr. or Mrs. Carolina Wren !

web 10062014_250Carolina wrens spend the majority of their time on or near the ground searching for food, or in tangles of vegetation and vines. They also probe bark crevices on lower tree levels, or pick up leaf-litter in order to search for prey. Their diet consists of invertebrates, such as beetles, true bugs, grasshoppers, katydids, spiders, ants, bees, and wasps. Small lizards and tree frogs also make up the carnivorous portion of their diet. Vegetable matter makes up a small percentage of their diets, such as fruit pulp and various seeds. In the northern portion of their range, they frequent bird feeders.

For me, the bottom line is: I like wrens because they are small yet mighty. I admire their courage and the bold way they approach life. More often than not, life seems overwhelming to me and yet here are these wee birds who are ready to take on the world. When a Carolina is sitting on my porch, belting out his vibrant song, it gives me courage to be my authentic self, to sing my own wonderful song.

Going With the Flow

If I had a blog, today I would reflect on the start of a new year in the wake of the Flood of 2015.

The Little Piney from the Bridge at Newburg

The Little Piney from the Bridge at Newburg

Missouri is about rivers. We have somewhere in the neighborhood of 120 named rivers and creeks plus countless back-road streams that come to life when rain is abundant. On Christmas night 2015, it started to rain. It came down in buckets for three days and nights, leaving us with a grand total of 11.26 inches. Even the tiniest stream became a roaring river, closing back roads and interstates, washing away homes and cars,  and changing the lay of the land in ways I never imagined.

Yesterday, we visited our own river: The quarter-mile of the Little Piney Creek that is our southern property line. We wished we could see the Piney when it was up and rolling, but the myriad side-streams kept us away until yesterday afternoon; until the moment we were witness to the raw and merciless power of Nature.

Before & After

Before & After

To put it bluntly, the river and the valley that lies beside it is unrecognizable. The pasture that once fed our cows and sheep is now a beach. The river gouged a new inlet, six or seven feet deep and fifty yards long, into the field, buried or ripped away the fences, and left a giant sycamore, uprooted by the flow, resting on its side where the river bank used to be.

 

The New Channel

The New Channel

The pathway that meandered through the green mansions of sycamore, river birch, and paw-paw trees is scoured clean of underbrush. Great masses of sticks, leaves, and vines are draped around tree trunks, six or seven feet above the ground. Feet of sand cover the ground and everywhere, great trees lie upon the ground, felled by the raging stream.

The Path to the River

The Path to the River

At the river’s edge, the sand bar where we picnicked, swam, and sunbathed on steamy summer days is reformed. Here, the sand is gone; replaced by stones from miles upstream. The path we used to drive down is blocked by downed trees and made almost impassable by a huge hole filled with river water.

 

A New World Order

A New World Order

It is sobering to see an entire landscape changed overnight; taken from the world of the familiar and replaced with something barren, battered and bruised. This morning I stepped into an alien world and I felt afraid. Standing on the banks of the Little Piney I faced the fear that haunts us all: The fear that we are not in control.

Nature, biology, random human violence all force us to admit that however neat and tidy we make our personal lives, nothing is certain; nothing is forever. In the blink of an eye, our world can change forever – and that is what keeps us awake at night.

The Sycamore

The Sycamore

In the face of The Flood, stepping across the threshold into a new year feels less comfortable than it has in the past. I can pretend that my vision of 2016 is accurate: That I can set goals and see them realized; make plans and see them bear fruit and walk confidently ahead on a familiar path, knowing that the foundation of my life is secure, but the Little Piney tells me to be careful because life isn’t safe. In fact, life is terribly unsafe. It is unsafe for children, unsafe for adults. Life is unsafe in any direction. Life is unsafe at any speed.

So how do I move forward? How do I face this brave, new world? The Piney offers me wisdom in her rebirth: The disaster came, but The Piney didn’t resist. She rose and fell, changed her course, and even made footprints in a foreign land. The river flows on without fear of the next flood. Even today she is coming clear again. In a few more days, her voice will be softer and, come spring, little green things will begin to poke through the choking sand and reclaim their rightful place among the budding trees. The Piney says, “Ride out the catastrophe, then start again.”

Things on the river will not be the same. New paths will emerge, old trees will fall, and water will make its home where once there was dry land, but, if we are wise, we too will adapt to the change. Even in this microcosm of life, we will find new bliss. Summer will come and one fine afternoon, we will traverse the fallen trees and muddy pools and sit beside the laughing waters once again. The wood thrush will sing, cardinals will find refuge in the brush piles, and otter will find crawdads under rocks that have come from many miles away. Life is change. Change is life. All we can do is go with the flow.

The Little Piney Renewed

The Little Piney Renewed

The Evidence of Things Not Seen

If I had a blog, today I would write about my continued experiences with faith.

Although I know it is generally considered bad form to experiment with the nature of faith, the scientist within me can’t help but look for what Hebrews 11:1 describes as “the evidence of things not seen.” A bit oxymoronic perhaps, but my “research” has yielded some surprising results!

By the Sea

By the Sea

My journey into faith has become essential, as my life is about to undergo major change. Dad will be retired from dentistry in two years and we are ready to move on from the rigors of farm life. To that end, we have decided to begin working to sell the farm so we can move to a little house on quiet beach in south Florida.

Naturally, the practical part of moving from the farm is complicated. We have horses, chickens, a duck, and cats that need new homes. We have to prepare the property for showing, which means repairs and refurbishment at the barn, in the pastures, and in the house. I lay awake nights with a zillion scenarios zooming through my head: What if the house sells before we find a new one? What if we can’t find suitable homes for the animals? What if? What if? What if?

In an effort to retain our sanity, Mom and I made a pact to put a moratorium on negative thinking and really let The Divine guide us through the tangled mass of the days ahead. So far, it appears that faith in a higher power is not just a myth.

Best Friends Rain (L) and Skeeter (R)

Best Friends
Rain (L) and Skeeter (R)

The first “OMG moment” came when I contacted the friend from whom I had purchased my horse, Rain, in 2012. She didn’t even hesitate before agreeing to take Rain and Rain’s buddy, Skeeter, under her wing. Better still, we didn’t have to worry about getting the mares out to Virginia, because Lindsay is coming through Missouri in a few weeks and was more than happy to pick the girls up on her way home.

Next, we contacted two people about the sale of the three Arabian horses we own and now they have new homes to go to as well. As with the paint horses, the people who wanted the Arabs are genuine, down-to-earth horse lovers who will give our herd a loving home.

Sawyer

Sawyer

A few days later, I made the difficult decision to list my house cats for adoption. Regardless of where we settle, our new home will be smaller and with my Labrador, Gus, in tow, two cats would be too much. I put my request on Facebook and within two hours heard from one of my closest friends. Micheline and I have been friends since we were five years old and I couldn’t imagine a better owner for my favored felines.

Then Micheline told me not only did she want Sawyer and Claudia, but she would take  my entire flock of chickens and my Runner Duck, Ferdinand!

Ferdinand

Ferdinand

Ferdie has been my only duck since the rest of the flock was killed by a roving pack of coyotes in 2011. At his new home, not only will he have other ducks for company, but Runner Ducks at that! Talk about an abundance of miracles!

Now for the icing on the cake: Yesterday, when I sat down to write this blog, I looked up the Scripture that describes faith as, “The substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” This is found in Hebrews, chapter 11. It may not sound like much, but the number 11 is of great significance to me. Whenever 11’s appear in my life, transition for the better is at hand.

Finally, one more bit of “OMG” happened when I sat down to watch an episode of The West Wing. I popped in the DVD and the third episode on the disc was titled, “The Evidence of Things Not Seen.” I think I am on to something here.

Sauntering Towards the Holy Land

If I had a blog, today I would write about my autumn idyll.

White Iron Lake - Ely, MN

White Iron Lake – Ely, MN

I love the morning after an autumnal storm. The thunder and lightning passed with the darkness and daybreak brings calm. The dark skies that troubled my dreams are breaking into soft piles of white, gold, and magenta that run with the freshening wind, leaving blue sky in their wake.

Mom at Rookie Pond - Ely, MN

Mom at Rookie Pond – Ely, MN

I have seen a hundred mornings like this in the North Country, when the first breath of Canadian air rushes south to bring the first breath of autumn to a summer-weary land. As the clouds part, the dark water of the lakes begins to come to life and sparkle with blue. The wind carries only a few sounds now: The chirp of crickets, the call of blue jays and the raspy voice of ravens in search of food. The mellow sun is warm on my back, but as it dips beneath the clouds, I am glad to have a fleece jacket in my day-pack.

Diamond Drops

Diamond Drops

Today, I am a thousand miles south of “Up North,” writing away with doors and windows flung open to welcome the chill in the air. The mellow light has come too, and my desk is dappled with golden light.

Quiet Time

Quiet Time

When I got up this morning, my first thought was, “Oh wow! I can go for a walk and clean at the barn, and start my fall photo essay…” But once I finished chores, I was overcome with a sense of peace so luxurious I was called to sit and write and listen to the blue jays and crows calling in my woods. “This is not a work-day,” my soul assured me. “This is a day to revel.” And so I have.

 

The Holy Land

The Holy Land

Days like this make it clear what Thoreau experienced on Walden when he wrote, “And so we saunter towards the Holy Land, till one day the sun shall shine more brightly than ever it has done, and shall perchance shine into our minds and hearts, and light up our whole lives with a great awakening light, as warm and serene and golden as on a bankside in autumn. ”

So may it be.

 

 

Winter Days

If I had a blog, today I would write about The Greenwood in winter.

The Missouri Arctic

The Missouri Arctic

Winter is back. Yesterday’s high was 15 degrees (with 25 mph winds) and today is even colder. The low last night was -2 and we’ll be lucky if we crawl into the teens for a high this afternoon. The snow that fell on Monday is reflecting most of the sun’s warmth back into space, leaving us wrapped in a blanket that offers no warmth. Until the weather breaks, our lives revolve around caring for our animals 24-7; keeping them well-fed and sheltered from the wind and snow.

Rain in the Snow

Rain in the Snow

Yesterday, despite the wind, we let the horses out for the day to stretch their legs and get some fresh air after three days in the barn. Horses are a great source of potential energy and when they are kept up, that energy builds day by day until they can get outside and burn it off. They made quite a spectacle of themselves, running, bucking, and even rolling in the snow; thrilled to be out in the sun and cold. Watching them play like kids on a Snow Day always lifts my spirits; at least someone is enjoying life in the freezer. I don’t really hate the cold weather, but as I get older I tend to adopt the Zen of the Hen instead.

The Zen of the Hen

The Zen of the Hen

Over at the chicken house, the tenor is quite different. My laying hens, rooster, and Ferdinand the duck prefer to stay indoors when snow is on the ground. I opened their door to the coop this morning, but no one wanted to venture out. The hens spent their day on the roost, under their heat lamp, or busy scratching for the dried mealworms I scattered in the straw as a treat. Ferdinand, my fawn and white runner duck, did have to forego his daily bath, but he when he saw his swimming pool had turned into a skating rink, he, too, was content to nestle down in the straw and enjoy winter from afar, alongside his roommate Edward, the Australorp rooster. I promised my boys warmer days will return, but even as I said it, I wondered how many times I’ll make that promise before the cold is through.

The Horse Barn

The Horse Barn

The bulk of our winter chores revolves around cleaning horse stalls. When all five horses are indoors full-time, keeping their quarters clean is an arduous job. While it is easier to scoop frozen “horse apples” and our work is certainly less fragrant this time of year, there is no getting around the fact that it’s plain old hard work. To pass the time, I turned to the mantra I used when backpacking. Most backpackers have a chant they use to distract themselves when hiking up an endless hill or trudging across rugged terrain. I adopted mine from a book I read about a woman who through-hiked the Appalachian Trail. It goes like this: “We are the through-hikers, mighty, mighty through-hikers. Every where we go-oh, people want to know-oh, who we are and so we tell them, ‘We are the through-hikers, mighty, mighty through-hikers…’ ” This encouragement has gotten me to the top of many mountain passes and today, it got me to the end of my task in record time. When I was finally able to stand up straight and stretch my aching back I felt as though I had reached the summit of Everest. Mom and I gave the horses a round of apple-treats, checked in with the barn cats and headed home for lunch in front of the fire. Mission accomplished.

Me

Me

In five hours, it will be chore-time again and we’ll start the lugging, lifting, and loading all over again. Some days I wonder why I chose this life rather than that of a business-woman. I could be sitting behind a desk in a warm office on these bitter mornings, sipping coffee and chatting with clients and co-workers, far removed from the wind that rattles the windows and the curtains of snow that dance across the parking lot, but then I open the barn door and am greeted by a symphony of nickers, clucks, meows, and crows that remind me just how much I am needed by the creatures I love. I might be able to earn more or achieve more at another job, but nowhere on earth could I feel more complete. This is where I belong.

An Experiment in Stillness

If I had a blog, today I would write about my grand experiment in quietude.

Hermann, Missouri

Hermann, Missouri

It has been more than a decade since I’ve gone on a retreat by myself, with no other goal than to rest. Today I’ve broken this unhealthy trend and am sitting on a king-sized sleigh-bed, watching the sun go down over acres of vineyards and inns sprinkled with snow-white church steeples. A fire is blazing in my fireplace and I am sipping a superb dry Merlot. This is the life.

The Vineyard

The Vineyard

Although my taste of wine-country is happening in Missouri, not Provence or Tuscany, this little corner of Heaven makes me feel as though I am in a far-away land. The place where I am staying is called Hermann Hill Vineyard and Inn. It sits atop a high hill overlooking the Missouri River Valley and the quaint Germanic town of Hermann. If a person time-warped into Hermann without GPS, you would feel certain you were in Germany’s Rhineland. Rolling hills, tall brick homes, and sprawling vineyards make it very hard to think “Missouri.”

Quiet Time

Quiet Time

The remarkable thing about my vacation so far is rediscovering the point of a vacation: To do as little as possible. I realize some people need constant action to stay sane, but I am not one of those people. I go, go, go, but that isn’t my default condition. I need down time; all-the-way-down time and I didn’t even know it. I planned this trip around hiking and (with a little luck) getting some photos of the bald eagles that sometimes winter along the Missouri River and while I may do those things, I’m not going to push it. If laying around watching favorite movies or reading a good book sounds better, I’m going to risk public opinion and do it.

I make light of this, but think about it: Could you go on a trip and feel good doing nothing? Would you return home full of energy and self-esteem if you all you had to report was how the light changed across the countryside as seen from your veranda? It’s a sad state of affairs when society expects us to accomplish something even when we are (theoretically) getting away from it all. It’s time for a change.

Good Night Wine Country

Good Night Wine Country

We’ll see how it goes, but for the next 36 hours I am going to listen to my Inner Being and if She says, “Rest,” I’m going to rest. It’s a little scary, but I think I am up to the task. Ooh! My complimentary ice cream and warm cookie are here. I think this is going to work.

Down By the Riverside

If I had a blog, today I would write about my life on The Little Piney.

The Little Piney

The Little Piney

Our Gravel Bar

Our Gravel Bar

Of all the rivers in Missouri I have known, and there are many, my life has intersected with The Piney in the most personal of ways. Technically, the Little Piney is a creek, not a river, but since she’s large enough to have deep swimming holes and offers sanctuary to bank beavers, river otters, and beautiful rainbow trout, the Little Piney will always be a river to me.

I first met the Piney when I was seven. Dad had a farm on the river after he and Mom got married, we spent our summer Saturday afternoons on her shores, eating Kentucky Fried Chicken and and feeding Cheeto crumbs to the minnows. My brother and I learned to swim in the Piney where we perfected the frog-kick, backstroke, and sidestroke until we cruised the swimming hole as easily as did the minnows that nibbled at our toes. On those summer afternoons we learned to love the water; to respect the swift current and delight in the slow eddies. The Little Piney became part of us as we became part of her.

Baptism Day

Baptism Day

When I was nine, my brother, sister, and I were baptized in the Little Piney. We were members of the Episcopal church and invited the entire congregation to share in our big day. People brought every kind of picnic food imaginable and we feasted under the shade of the great sycamores and river birches that grew along the river banks. Our priest had just returned from the Holy Land and after he immersed us in our river, he sprinkled us with water from the river Jordan. I’m not sure which water I would consider the most mystical, water from the river where Jesus was baptized or that of the river that has run through my life, even when I was far from its banks.

Not long after our baptism, we moved from the farm to a little house in town, but we took some of The Piney with us. In our new kitchen was a large aquarium, stocked with wee friends from our river. In the weeks before the farm sold, Mom, Dad, David and I scoured the river for fish small enough to thrive in our self-designed “marine park.” We collected darters, crawley-bottoms (banded sculpins), hognose suckers, bleeding shiners, and even a few crawdads. One fine afternoon, we found a baby smallmouth bass and a slender madtom catfish. Both were rare finds and were the crowning glory of our collection.We spent many happy hours watching our little microcosm flourish and we spared no effort to keep our charges well fed. The little bass needed live food, so we raised Indiameal Moths in a dedicated bag of flour for “Bassy” to dine on and we cultivated native algae to keep the suckers and sculpins going strong. Memories of those aquatic friends stayed with me in the years that followed and telling stories about the crawdad who escaped and tried to “nest” behind the couch and of the night our house cat nearly got hold of our catfish always brought a laugh from my friends. It was an experience I will never forget.

Natural Sand Painting

Natural Sand Painting

After the time of the aquarium passed, I was away from the Piney for a long time. High school, college, and career took me far afield, but the Piney wasn’t done with me yet. In 1995, she called me home. I was living 100 miles from her shores by then, working in the business world, when Mom and Dad invited me to share their new home and work on their farm. They had purchased a piece of land just two miles downstream from the place of my baptism and they build their dream home a half-mile from the Piney. I said, “Yes,” to their offer and in 1996, I returned to the river of my childhood.

Down By the Riverside

Down By the Riverside

Since that time, I have spent countless hours at the river: I’ve gone alone, to revel in the music of the waters and bask in the warmth of the sun; I’ve been there as part of church gatherings where we built bonfires and had Eucharist at the water’s edge; and with family, sharing old memories and making new.

Today, my sister and her family are visiting and we spent the better part of the day at the Piney. We searched for fossils on the gravel bar, grilled hot dogs over an campfire, and my ten year-old niece, Anna, and I braved the icy water and plunged to the bottom, letting out a primal scream as we came back to the surface, our chests tight and teeth chattering with cold. Once we had acclimated to the temperature of the water, we swam a long time, another baptism of sorts for me, washing away my cares for the entire afternoon. When our fingers started to wrinkle, Anna and I went back to the shore and all of us basked in the late summer sun. It was the perfect day.

What does it mean that the Little Piney has been the river of my life? It is hard to say, but when I think of this little river and its ceaseless journey towards the sea, I take heart. If the waters of The Little Piney can find their way over rocks and roots, eddies and falls until they emerge in the vastness of the great oceans, then perhaps my one, little life makes a difference. Perhaps the hopes and dreams I have set free upon her shores will join with those of my fellow human beings, becoming a part of something greater than us all.

Infidelity

White-Breasted Nuthatch

White-Breasted Nuthatch

If I had a blog, today I would write about my infidelity to the white-breasted nuthatch. Sitting at the breakfast table this morning, the predominant “bird song” at the feeder is the nasal yank-yank of the white-breasted nuthatches. These funny little birds are all about the vertical, moving up and down tree-trunks with the greatest of ease. Nuthatches, chickadees, and tufted titmice are the three birds I’ve known the longest. As a four-year old, I built a blind under our kitchen table and, with Peterson’s Field Guide to Eastern Birds close at hand, Mom and I spent hours identifying the birds at our winter feeder. That was the year I came to know the nuthatch. I practiced making their call and memorized everything Mom read about their natural history. I thought they looked like little sailors in their tidy blue jackets with a white shirt underneath and was inspired to do countless drawings of these funny little upside-down clowns. For thirty-eight years I was faithful in my love of the white-breasted nuthatch, but in 2006 I failed.

Red-Breasted Nuthatch

Red-Breasted Nuthatch

That autumn, Mom and I went on a week-long vacation to Northern Minnesota, setting up base-camp near the town of Ely. Our rental cabin had bird feeders galore and on the first morning of our visit, during breakfast, I met another member of the nuthatch family and he stole my heart away. This avian Casanova was the red-breasted nuthatch. RBN’s are smaller than their southern cousins and they have a rosy red breast like a robin. They also have a prominent, black eye-stripe that gives their gaze a compelling intensity. I fell in love at once.

For an entire week, I enjoyed the company of the RBNs and spent hours taking pictures of my love. When we left for home, I admit I felt a twinge of sadness that it would be at least another year before I saw my heart-throb again, but at least I could enjoy the antics of the white-breasted nuthatches at home.

Mr. Upside-Down

Mr. Upside-Down

Back on the farm, I was careful not to let the WBN’s know about my infidelity. I praised their color and their grace and made sure they got their favorite seed and suet-blocks. I took extra photographs of their exploits and actually appreciated them more than I had in the past. Nevertheless, I missed my friend from the North Woods. Then it happened: One of the most stunning events in my birdwatching career took place right in my back yard.

A Surprise Visitor

A Surprise Visitor

It was a perfect afternoon in late October. I was sitting on the patio, sipping a glass of wine and enjoying the mellow light only autumn can bring. Birds came and went at the feeders; chickadees, titmice, a downy woodpecker – all old friends. A nuthatch swooped in and landed on one of the suet cakes. As he bopped into sight, I caught a glimpse of red. That wasn’t right. The white-breasted nuthatch has no red. Was this a sport; a mutation of some kind? I grabbed my camera and used the zoom lens as a spotting scope and what I saw made my heart skip a beat: A red-breasted nuthatch was sitting on my feeder.

I took a photo after photo, to prove to myself, as much as anyone, that this was really happening. After the RBN left, I went into the house and thumbed through my trusty Peterson’s Field Guide. Sure enough, Mr. Peterson assured me that, when the feeding conditions in the south are particularly good, the RBN will migrate into our area. Who knew? Thirty-eight years of avid birdwatching and I had never, ever seen an RBN at my feeder. Now, just a month after meeting him for the first time in Minnesota, he showed up in my own back yard. I was flabbergasted.

Feathered Philosopher

Feathered Philosopher

As I journaled about the experience that night, I tried not to go overboard about the event. The logical part of my brain chastened me that there was no way this bird was remotely related to the handsome lad I’d seen in Minnesota. It was a lovely coincidence, but nothing more. The problem is, I don’t believe in coincidence. I believe that these rare moments are synchronicities, events that occur together and have a spiritual in meaning. I wish Roger Tory Peterson had written A Field Guide to Synchronicities because it isn’t always apparent just what the Powers-That-Be are saying, but if nothing else it lets me know, to lift a quote from Hamlet: “There is more in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than is dreamt of in your philosophy.”

I have seen RBN’s in Missouri a couple of times since that first magical afternoon and I take their presence as assurance that my infidelity is forgiven. The heart wants what the heart wants and over that we have little choice. Today I will enjoy the fledgling WBN’s that have arrived at my feeder but as summer turns to fall, I will keep watch. Perhaps on the perfect October afternoon, my favorite autumn guest will grace my home with his presence and reassure me that all is well in Heaven and Earth.